Meditaton

I have been thinking a lot about meditation. Stacy got me a book for Christmas Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, that was pretty confusing, but basically got me excited about trying it out. Once I have been able to go 15 minutes, which is pretty amazing for me. But usually 5 minutes at a time, and I have been doing it at least 2 or three times a week. Usually I just focus on my breathing. In and out, into my chest, stuff like that. Then I wait till I get a thought in my head, let in come all the way in on the breath in, then breathe it out after a second or two. I have noticed a difference, but it is in small ways so far. I am more aware of how much I rush through my life. Even when I am relaxing, I am in a rush to get started relaxing. I also am not as worried about boredom. I can sit for a minute or two without being so anxious about what I should do next. I am a little less afraid of silence in conversations. Even when I physically feel the anxiety from the other person, I have been able to wait a bit and see what happens. One time I kind of flipped and had a 3 hour stretch where I wasn’t anxious about anything, was truly in the present, wasn’t worried about the future and was content being exactly where I was. I even looked out of the bus window without daydreaming. I actually looked around. Overall, I would say mediation has been a very good discovery for me.